Well, thank goodness we finally know who the father of Anna Nicole Smith's baby is! I know it was a topic that's been preying on my mind since her poor, unfortunate mother went to that big outlet mall in the sky. Now we can take on some of the lesser issues of the day, such as how to get our American troops the hell out of Iraq before any more get killed, or what to do about global warming.
Before we leave it, though, I do have to mention something that never seems to have been brought up by the media. Isn't it kind of bad that there were all these people who could have a legitimate claim to being the father of her baby? I mean seriously, think about it. She must've had sex with all of these guys nearly a year ago, and in close proximity (although hopefully not at exactly the same time). Sorry, but where I come from that makes you a common slut, not a celebrity.
Instead of celebrating her and moaning over her demise, perhaps we should be making her a cautionary tale for young people, and particularly young women, everywhere. Hey, kids, you don't want to be like Anna Nicole. She was apparently taking in more sausage than the loading dock at a fast food restaurant and now look where she is.
I'm just sayin'...
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