He's a local New York radio talk show host who said something stupid. Who cares? Other than the people in New York.
If he had said the same thing in Idaho he's still be on the air. Really, people, get a freakin' life!
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label stupid. Show all posts
Friday, April 13, 2007
Friday, March 09, 2007
Stupid Bears!
It's a good thing that one of the requirements I put on myself for this blog is no foul language, because right about now I'd be dropping f-bombs all over the place.
The reason is the Chicago Bears, who have once again managed to prove that they are the cheapest and most ignorant franchise in professional football today. I refer, of course, to two things.
One is the shipping of 1000 yard+ running back Thomas Jones to the NY Jets in return for a 1985 Chrysler Imperial and a pack of Mentos. Yeah, we don't need that guy, do we? All he did was continually make good yardage out of the same caliber of blocking that caused Rex Grossman to soil his pants every time he dropped back. Instead we're going to be treated to a big heaping helping of Cedric Benson, the same running back who has yet to prove he has the durability or smarts to carry the load for a full season.
The true issue is one of not wanting to look stupid (and yet managing to do so anyway). The Bears drafted Benson #4 overall and paid him a ton of money, only to be outshown by Jones at every turn. Not wanting to admit they may have been mistaken, they have decided to settle matters by getting rid of the one guy who reminds everyone of how stupid they are, and who coincidentally the one guy who made their offense work. Well, played Bears management.
Then there's the Lance Briggs thing. It sucks, and I hate it as a fan, but at least this one I get. Why would they want to pay Briggs more money when they can keep him for less? It's not like they can sell more tickets if he stays -- they're already all sold out all the time. This ain't Phoenix. They can't even justify it by getting more ticket holders to show up. As far as I know the Chicago Park District makes the money off parking and concessions, so what do the Bears care? Until they stop selling all the tickets there is no incentive to pay more to keep Briggs.
A Super Bowl championship would be nice and all, they figure, but trophies don't pay the bills. Just to be sure they insult as many people as they can, though, they stick Briggs with the "franchise" tag. Maybe they figure he plays best when he's angry. Who knows?
In any case, I wonder what TV technology will be like in 2028? That's probably the next time the Bears will be in the Super Bowl, so I want to make sure I can enjoy it in the best possible way. I figure on being dead for the one after that.
The reason is the Chicago Bears, who have once again managed to prove that they are the cheapest and most ignorant franchise in professional football today. I refer, of course, to two things.
One is the shipping of 1000 yard+ running back Thomas Jones to the NY Jets in return for a 1985 Chrysler Imperial and a pack of Mentos. Yeah, we don't need that guy, do we? All he did was continually make good yardage out of the same caliber of blocking that caused Rex Grossman to soil his pants every time he dropped back. Instead we're going to be treated to a big heaping helping of Cedric Benson, the same running back who has yet to prove he has the durability or smarts to carry the load for a full season.
The true issue is one of not wanting to look stupid (and yet managing to do so anyway). The Bears drafted Benson #4 overall and paid him a ton of money, only to be outshown by Jones at every turn. Not wanting to admit they may have been mistaken, they have decided to settle matters by getting rid of the one guy who reminds everyone of how stupid they are, and who coincidentally the one guy who made their offense work. Well, played Bears management.
Then there's the Lance Briggs thing. It sucks, and I hate it as a fan, but at least this one I get. Why would they want to pay Briggs more money when they can keep him for less? It's not like they can sell more tickets if he stays -- they're already all sold out all the time. This ain't Phoenix. They can't even justify it by getting more ticket holders to show up. As far as I know the Chicago Park District makes the money off parking and concessions, so what do the Bears care? Until they stop selling all the tickets there is no incentive to pay more to keep Briggs.
A Super Bowl championship would be nice and all, they figure, but trophies don't pay the bills. Just to be sure they insult as many people as they can, though, they stick Briggs with the "franchise" tag. Maybe they figure he plays best when he's angry. Who knows?
In any case, I wonder what TV technology will be like in 2028? That's probably the next time the Bears will be in the Super Bowl, so I want to make sure I can enjoy it in the best possible way. I figure on being dead for the one after that.
Thursday, March 01, 2007
You'd think I'd learn
A few days ago I posted about my narrow encounter with the local law enforcement officials, delighting at how I'd beaten the system (thanks to the officer being on his way to a more important call). Well, on Monday I found out once again that you can't beat the house. You can only postpone the inevitable.
Yes, I was popped for speeding, driving North on route 83 in Vernon Hills, which is a known speed trap. Stupid! In my defense I was rushing to get to the high school to pay the athletic fee for my daughter so she could be forced by my wife and me to play softball there. Apparently I had more time than I thought because even with the delay of receiving a ticket I got there in plenty of time.
I will say the officer in Vernon Hills was far nicer than the Mundelein copper I'd run into a few days before. He even commented that he would write the ticket up quickly so I could be on my way to continue my mission. I don't know if he was being amusing in his own way or not, but at least he didn't cop an overt attitude about it. For my part, I knew I was caught so I just took it in stride.
When he first pulled out after I went speeding by him at 60 (in a 45) there was a brief glimmer of hope in my heart that he didn't have the radar gun on, and that he was just waiting to pull out into the street. "Perhaps it's time to head to Dunkin Donuts for a delicious Bavarian Kreme and a hot cup of walnut coffee" I thought to myself. For just an instant I also thought "I wonder if I can find a street to turn into before he catches up so I can lose him" but with where he'd stationed himself and the idiotic traffic that had gotten me all in a tizzy to begin with when I kept getting stuck behind morons yapping on their cell phones and old ladies doing whatever it is old ladies do when they decide to go out driving during the day I could see that wasn't going to happen.
So I owe the State of Illinois another $75. Actually, I'll be paying them $105 so I can once again enjoy the wonders of online traffic school, where they will fill my head with information about being a good driver even though in 30+ years of driving I've never had an accident nor caused one. I will take their quiz, give them the answers they want to hear, and be a good boy. At least for a while.
All of this could have been avoided had I bothered to turn on the radar detector that sits mounted right under my rear view mirror. Of course, it also could've been avoided had I just traveled at the posted limit, but we all know that's not going to happen. Oh well. I'll just fix myself a snack and see if I can beat my previous time in completing the online course.
Yes, I was popped for speeding, driving North on route 83 in Vernon Hills, which is a known speed trap. Stupid! In my defense I was rushing to get to the high school to pay the athletic fee for my daughter so she could be forced by my wife and me to play softball there. Apparently I had more time than I thought because even with the delay of receiving a ticket I got there in plenty of time.
I will say the officer in Vernon Hills was far nicer than the Mundelein copper I'd run into a few days before. He even commented that he would write the ticket up quickly so I could be on my way to continue my mission. I don't know if he was being amusing in his own way or not, but at least he didn't cop an overt attitude about it. For my part, I knew I was caught so I just took it in stride.
When he first pulled out after I went speeding by him at 60 (in a 45) there was a brief glimmer of hope in my heart that he didn't have the radar gun on, and that he was just waiting to pull out into the street. "Perhaps it's time to head to Dunkin Donuts for a delicious Bavarian Kreme and a hot cup of walnut coffee" I thought to myself. For just an instant I also thought "I wonder if I can find a street to turn into before he catches up so I can lose him" but with where he'd stationed himself and the idiotic traffic that had gotten me all in a tizzy to begin with when I kept getting stuck behind morons yapping on their cell phones and old ladies doing whatever it is old ladies do when they decide to go out driving during the day I could see that wasn't going to happen.
So I owe the State of Illinois another $75. Actually, I'll be paying them $105 so I can once again enjoy the wonders of online traffic school, where they will fill my head with information about being a good driver even though in 30+ years of driving I've never had an accident nor caused one. I will take their quiz, give them the answers they want to hear, and be a good boy. At least for a while.
All of this could have been avoided had I bothered to turn on the radar detector that sits mounted right under my rear view mirror. Of course, it also could've been avoided had I just traveled at the posted limit, but we all know that's not going to happen. Oh well. I'll just fix myself a snack and see if I can beat my previous time in completing the online course.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Solution for Iraq
Last week President Bush announced he was seeking an additional $25 billion for the war effort in Iraq. This is money he is seeking so we can continue what appears to be an effort to send troops over there for Iraqi militants to use as target practice for their crudely made roadside bombs.
Let's face it. $25 billion is a lot of money, even if you're Bill Gates. It seems like way too much to put in the kitty just to keep the status quo. As always, though, I have a better idea.
What if you took that money and just divided it up between all the Iraqi citizens? According to a population estimate by the CIA there are roughly 26.7 million men, women, and children in Iraq. Probably less now because of all the bombings, but close enough for this discussion. If you divvied up $25 billion between them, you could pay everyone $936.33, cash on the barrelhead. Or towelhead.
I would have to think in a country like Iraq at this point that $936 is a lot of money. You could probably put up an office building with that kind of money and still have enough left over to hire your 73 virgins as secretaries or administrative assistants or whatever. Although life in an office cubicle can suck at times, it's still got to be better than blowing yourself up in what passes for a shopping mall over there. Besides, if you plan it right you can have air conditioning in the office, which will relieve a lot of the day-to-day tension many Iraqi citizens no doubt feel because of the oppressive heat.
Seems to me that this would be a much better way of spending $25 billion in Iraq. The one challenge will be making sure that the money actually gets to the people, and not just into the government's coffers the way it does when the U.N. gets involved. Maybe you give everybody a Christmas Club account the way banks used to do here in the U.S. so they could sucker little kids into giving them their money without having to pay interest. (Individually those accounts weren't much. But if you got 1,000 kids to throw $50 apiece in, that's $50,000 in free money the bank could then invest into companies dumping dangerous products into third world markets at a high profit level. That's good business!) In any case, everyone would have to come in personally and sign for their money; maybe we could have Jane Fonda hand it out since she likes to get involved in stuff like this, and she's kind of a bitch so no one would mess with her.
Give it some thought, people. You know I'm right!
Let's face it. $25 billion is a lot of money, even if you're Bill Gates. It seems like way too much to put in the kitty just to keep the status quo. As always, though, I have a better idea.
What if you took that money and just divided it up between all the Iraqi citizens? According to a population estimate by the CIA there are roughly 26.7 million men, women, and children in Iraq. Probably less now because of all the bombings, but close enough for this discussion. If you divvied up $25 billion between them, you could pay everyone $936.33, cash on the barrelhead. Or towelhead.
I would have to think in a country like Iraq at this point that $936 is a lot of money. You could probably put up an office building with that kind of money and still have enough left over to hire your 73 virgins as secretaries or administrative assistants or whatever. Although life in an office cubicle can suck at times, it's still got to be better than blowing yourself up in what passes for a shopping mall over there. Besides, if you plan it right you can have air conditioning in the office, which will relieve a lot of the day-to-day tension many Iraqi citizens no doubt feel because of the oppressive heat.
Seems to me that this would be a much better way of spending $25 billion in Iraq. The one challenge will be making sure that the money actually gets to the people, and not just into the government's coffers the way it does when the U.N. gets involved. Maybe you give everybody a Christmas Club account the way banks used to do here in the U.S. so they could sucker little kids into giving them their money without having to pay interest. (Individually those accounts weren't much. But if you got 1,000 kids to throw $50 apiece in, that's $50,000 in free money the bank could then invest into companies dumping dangerous products into third world markets at a high profit level. That's good business!) In any case, everyone would have to come in personally and sign for their money; maybe we could have Jane Fonda hand it out since she likes to get involved in stuff like this, and she's kind of a bitch so no one would mess with her.
Give it some thought, people. You know I'm right!
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