A sure way to stop teenage smoking

This thought occurred to me over the weekend, as I was contemplating the issue of teen smoking. Despite all the legislation and health warnings, teen and young adult smoking continues to be an epidemic and a plague. So here's what we need to do.

We need to get a reputable research house to put out a report that tells boys that if they smoke their dicks will get smaller, and girls that their asses will get bigger. THAT ought to put an end to it once and for all.