While teen birth rates have declined somewhat over the past few years, there were still nearly 350,000 children born to mothers under the age of 19 in 2004 according to the CDC's National Vital Statistics Report. It is without a doubt a serious problem here in America. But I have a simple solution.
All teenagers, when they reach puberty, should be required to watch their parents having sex. Not just for a little bit, but all the way from the first kiss through to the lying in bed basking in the sweaty afterglow. They should be strapped into chairs in front of the bed, their eyes forced open like in the movie A Clockwork Orange. Being put through this ordeal will assure that the teenagers won't have sex for at least 10 years, thereby greatly reducing the number of teen pregnancies.
Yes, it seems cruel to make the youngsters watch something so disgusting that the parents themselves prefer to keep the lights off rather than catching themselves in the act, but desperate times call for desperate measures.
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You laugh! But I have used a similar strategy with my kids and profanity. I use curse words as I would normally when around my kids, which means I only use them when the situation fits. For example, I bang my head and yell "Shit!" And I never pepper my dialog with f-bombs when sensitive old ladies are around.
What's happened is I have drained the mystery -- and apparently the attraction -- out of so-called "bad words." But more important, I have a credible platform for teaching them the real issue: You have freedom of speech, but you're required to think before you open your mouth.
Maybe watching how the nasty really goes down rather than drowning in fantastic depictions of sex -- on both ends of the spectrum, from mutant males & screeching sluts in porno to sanitized music-video-style seductions on tv & movies -- would give kids the same idea.
We expect you to want to have sex - and yes experiment with your urges -- but you're required to think before you hit the sheets.
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